Wednesday, May 13

A Hidden Conspiracy: The Dean's Office

We need a permission letter from the dean's office so that we could sit for the Dermatology exam earlier. That means I have to pay a visit to the dean's office. Sigh. Not the dean's office.

A visit to the dean's office is simply traumatizing. Meet a bunch of women who are supposed to be sweet old ladies, trying to help every troubled student - maybe the other way around, ladies? They are affectionately known as The Deans. Oh, not to forget the ever-trusty secretary of theirs. So the title should read - "The Deans and the Secretary"

Mdm. Galina on the phone - trying to reach a leader of a group. She ended up complaining about whether she was listening to him or to the sound of music coming from his room. Behind her is Ms. Anya - the secretary. Looks busy typing huh? Let's zoom nearer, what is actually on screen...

Oh - so THAT is where that familiar "buzz" sounds were from. She was chatting on Yahoo Messenger. I thought it was my Mig33 application beeping.

That was the "clinical picture" that I saw in the dean's office as I waited for an audience with Mdm. Antropolskaya. Then, I got the chance:

Me: Dravstvujte Mdm. Antropolskaya.

Mdm: MMH. Dravstvujte Maks. What you want today?

Me: We need a permission to sit for the dermatology exam tomorrow (hands her the signed petition).

Mdm: When exam?

Me: TOMORROW. (Sheesh - didn't I just said it?)

Mdm: Tak, znachit - LISTEN to me. Who is group organizer? Arveen, da? Tell him, to come, NOW, to dean's office.

Me: Why madam, may I ask?

Mdm: Tak, the register, in dean's office has NO marks from subjects! NO MARKS!!!(slaps the register with the dorsum of her palm, several times.) WHY you didn't fulfill marks in dean's office register?

Me: (Awkward silence O_o)

Mdm: So, tell him to come here (looks at big clock on the wall), QUICK-LY. Tell him, BRING class register, and fulfill dean's office register, NOW. Only after, I will, give you permission - horosho?

Me: Da, madam. Vseo ponjal. Horosho.

Mdm: MMH.

Sigh. Not again. The freaking dean's office register. I don't understand why here everything has to be WRITTEN. Not once, but TWICE! Okay fine, what I should do now is to call the "group organizer" i.e. group leader:

Me: Hello, Arveen. We have a problem.

Arveen: What now?

Me: Mdm. Antropolskaya wants you to come here and "fulfill" the dean's office register. Or else - NO PERMISSION. NO PERMISSION!!!!

Arveen: (SIGHS) Okay, I will come. (grumbles....)

Me: Okay, see you.

Okay, then Arveen came. We "fulfilled" the registers together. And I got the evil ideas to snap some top-secret photos of the dean's office. SECRETLY. I saw and heard a lot of things happening here:

1) All the deans are females. And not forgetting the secretary too.

2) Females talk a lot. About life. Life. And more about Life. Thus they talked. :)

3) Sometimes they fight among each other: Anya vs Galina was today's battle. Mdm. Galina pointed out some misprints in the student's journal, which ignited the battle. Anya defended herself, and Mdm. Galina realized her mistake. One for Anya! (Cheers!)

4) Mdm. Irina ate a sour cream baguette tastefully, bought for her by Mdm. Natalia for the price of 16 roubles. Mdm. Natalia bought a 0.5L bottle of Pepsi. Drank it quickly as if there is no tomorrow.

5) Mdm. Galina did non-stop calls to reach some group leaders to ask them why were they absent for the group leaders' meeting this morning. Then she demanded that they come now to the dean's office ASAP.



Mdm. Natalia looking at Mdm. Antropolskaya as she expressively talks about how her nephew is coping with the high costs of living in St. Petersburg, how expensive is 40000 roubles per month for apartment rentals, and...some problems with her piping system at home? What ever the case is, Mdm. Antropolskaya is still the best. :)

Then, after nearly 1 hour of "fulfilling" the dean's office register - which is a total time waste, (I couldve studied a bit for my Dermatology exam if was not doing that. ARGH.) finally we handed the thing over to Mdm. Antropolskaya.

Mdm: MMH. Finished?

Arveen: Yes, madam. All finished. Sorry for not fulfilling the...

Mdm: Tak, sejchas - make a "xerox" for me - the original give me. You make "xerox" for yourself. Anya, dai pozhalujsta emu vedemost'.

Anya: 'Chas naidu. (Flips through papers and gives the vedemost')

Arveen: Spasibo.

Actually this is a simplified version of the conversation - watch the whole thing on secret cam below:


video