In every human being, there lives a monster. A monster so big, so green, so hideous - but sometimes you just can't see it. Once in a while it will come out of its hiding place - only to be seen for a short while. But sometimes, the monster feels so bold and brave that it lingers around long enough to be seen not only by its master, but also by people around.
This is how my aura should've looked today...I was burning GREEN with envy.
Today my green-eyed monster came out from its hiding place. It was so fierce and so empowering, that I couldn't mask my facial expression with my fake smiles anymore. I was surprised at how jealous I could be - I've never felt that jealous before. I've felt "boiling with anger" before, but not "boiling with envy". Unnecessary waste of energy and mind power.
Why should I be jealous? I myself couldn't explain it. I got to know that friend A got something that - well, it was not something that I've ever wanted before, or something that friend A did not deserve to get or something like that. Friend A was equally shocked to get that thing (I think) and friend A was more than deserving to receive it. But - I WAS JEALOUS. Jealous of friend A. Which was dumb! I knew it was dumb to be jealous, but I just can't stop feeling that!
How I wished Pandora didn't open that stupid box. Envy and Jealousy must be in there somewhere. Thanks a lot, Pandora!
I really need to put a leash on my green-eyed monster. I don't want people start calling me the Jealous Bitch. It seems that this week is filled with negative emotions - recently the urge to kill, now jealousy and envy? What's next? Rage? Hopefully not.
Thanks to a few bars of chocolate - I managed to get some happy hormones to circulate in my circuits. I hope I won't be attacked by such negative energy again of such magnitude in the near future. I'm afraid of wrinkles. Sigh.