Thursday, September 16

The 5 Most Lucrative Jobs of 2050

SCENARIO
The year is 2050. Everyone is practically working top-notch professional job lines in every possible fields: medical, engineering, entertainment, resource and human management, agriculture and the list goes on. Basically everyone is working their asses off practically just to earn enough money to make a living - and it is safe to say: everyone forgot how to live the simple life. Now the simple life is in demand - people are trying to get in touch to things that defines humanity. Jobs that revolve around humanly values such as care, love, happiness and freedom – as well as values showing our imperfect existence such as vulnerability, mortality and incapability are lacking. Thus, this is the list of the top 5 most lucrative jobs for the year 2050:

1. MAID
"People are now forgetting the joys of spring cleaning the old way with family and loved ones. That's why the maid is very much needed during these times to reinject some humanity into us."

Why: Due to the heavy dependency of the world on electricity and depleting sources of energy (oh, FYI renewable and green energy is not anymore available as the world is not in a balanced ecosystem at all, thanks to what we have been doing for all these years) - blackouts are a common thing everyday. So all the high tech cleaning appliances are always out of order. Here comes the maid to save the day! Taking care of the home the old fashion way - with the help of the trusty broom and duster, and not forgetting the old wipecloth. 

Requirements: 5 year degree course in Domestic Cleaning - B.Sc (Hons) Domestic Cleaning

Academic Prospectus (Major):

  • Sweeping and Mopping Techniques I & II
  • Chemical Cleansers Analysis I, II & III
  • Dusting I & II, Laundry Management
  • Domestic Waste Management
  • Domestic Sanitizing
  • Pet Waste & Care Management

Academic Prospectus (Minor):
  • Interior Design I
  • Family Management I
  • Aesthetics and Homescaping

Coursework: 6 month internship in a sewage/local dump to gain hands-on experience on cleaning.

Salary Range: 15,000 - 18,000 USD.

2. HOME MANAGER
" People nowadays forget the true value of a family institution. A stable and happy family institution is the basic nuclear institution from which a strong nation gets its sound foundation"

Why: People work 36 hours a day nowadays. We rarely get to meet our family in person - thanks to all the technology. Video conferencing and holographic projections of our families and loved ones are the best thing we can get nowadays since everyone lives in their workplace as of current. The home is just a nominal institution signifiying the presence of a family which is practically non-existent.

Requirements: 1 year foundation studies in Married Life Rites + 4 year degree course in Housewifery or Househusbandry (B.A. Housewifery, B.A. Househusbandry)

Academic Prospectus (Major):
  • Family Planning I & II
  • Family Management I, II, & III
  • Children Studies I & II
  • Love, Care and Happiness I & II
  • A House is Not A Home I & II

Academic Prospectus (Minor):
  • Communication Studies: Face to Face
  • Time Management
  • Anger Management
  • Stress Management

Coursework: 6 month attachment to a problematic family (anywhere in the world)

Salary Range: 20,000 – 24,500 USD

3. DAY-DREAMER
“People are becoming more and more robot-like with each passing day, not only in their mundane physical lives, but also slacking off in the creative and imaginative department. The essence of humanity lies in our ability to freely create and indulge in our endless imagination, and to lose that wonderful ability means to totally lose our humanity”

Why: Due to the overdeveloped world, people have reached the limit of their technological creativity – exhausting their imagination. As a consequence, they start to feel more robotic each day, living life without anything to look forward to. Gone are the words such as “thrills”, “adventure”, and “excitement”.

Requirements: 6 year degree course in Daydreaming and Imaginative Studies - B.Sc Daydreaming and Imaginative Studies (Hons)

Academic Prospectus (Major)
  • Creative Studies I, II & III
  • Daydreaming I, II, III & IV
  • Imagination I & II
  • Freedom of Thought I & II
  • Brainworks I & II
  • Mindworks I & II

Academic Prospectus (Minor)
  • Hobby I & II
  • SLAM (Science, Language, Art & Music) Collage Studies I
  • Mental Exercise I
  • Sleeping Exercises
  • Science of Instinct & Gut Feeling

Coursework: Continuous assessment of creativity and imaginative generation during periods of unattentiveness i.e. sleeping during lectures, dozing off under a tree, staring blankly out of a window etc.

Salary Range: 26,000 – 30,000 USD.

4. LOVE PHILOSOPHER
“Too many broken relationships and broken marriages tarnish the beauty of love, thanks to long hours at work and rampant involvement in borderless online socializing. People need to be educated about the basics of love and the sanctity of it.”

Why: The word “family” and “couples” and “marriages” are not anymore the matters of the heart now, since everyone are married to their jobs and careers. Most get into marriage and relationships just because its another rite of passage of an adult human being. Gone are the values of true love and the promises it brings with it.

Requirements: 1 year foundation studies in Married Life Rites OR Relationship Science + 5 year degree programme in Pure Love (B.Sc Pure Love)

Academic Prospectus (Major):
  • Love, Care and Happiness I, II, III & IV
  • Trustology I & II
  • Science of Understanding
  • Head-Over-Heels-ology
  • Love For Dummies I, II & III
  • Communication: Face to Face
  • Communication: Heart to Heart

Academic prospectus (Minor)
  • Psychology
  • Science of Comforting and Acceptance Studies
  • Science of Forgiving and Forgetting
  • Anger Management

Coursework: 8-12 months experience being in relationship with fixed external factors in a controlled environment.

Salary Range: 24,000 – 32,000 USD.

5.TOTAL LOSER
“Sometimes there must be a loser. You can’t win all the time. It’s against the rules of nature”

Why: People nowadays are so competitive. Everyone wins. It feels as if life has been rigged. It defies the norm. Life is always about balance, there must be a winning side, and there’s the losing side as well. Now life has been thrown out of balance. People grow arrogant and cocky because they never felt the feeling of being a loser. People forget the values of being humble and they forget the saying – things that doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. One more thing, we gain through losing.

Requirements: 1 year foundation studies in Solitary Science + 5 year degree programme in Loserology  (B.Sc Loserology)

Academic Prospectus (Major)
  • Yin and Yang I & II
  • Science of Patience
  • Hermitology I, II & III
  • Loser Thinking I, II & III
  • Total Crap I & II

Academic Prospectus (Minor)
  • General Wasting I & II
  • Science of Misfortune

Coursework: Any three (3) successive misfortunes in any field with considerable impact of emotional breakdown, plus affection in another socioeconomic aspect, submitted in a full-detail report paper.

Salary Range: Estimated over 30,000 USD

[Maksim.Markusevich]

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