(Copyrights granted by Aren YCL. Thanks Aren!)
It DOES look thick, don't you think so?
Today over lunch, I had a nice long chat with Devan. Devan is my groupmate, studying with me here in Russia. We had quite a lengthy chat, which left me thinking what is the real value of a family institution. In the context of my family and I, of course.
There is an old German proverb that goes "Blut ist dicker als Wasser", which its English equivalent is "Blood is thicker than water". It generally means that "the bonds of family and common ancestry are stronger than those bonds between unrelated people." (Wikipedia)
So this means that if the bonds are really that strong - there should be ultimate support and backup among family members, am I right?
What if, one day something happens that can shatter that so-called strong bonds? (Suddenly the term "weak Van-der-Waals bonds came across my mind LOL)
You see, I love my family. And I am sure you love your family too. You and I love them so much that we'd rather die than to be separated from them forever. But what if, one day I were to do something that would really break their heart, and it would be something that they never could ever accept coming from me? Would they disown me?
I am sure they want me to be happy.
I am really sure of that.
But what if my idea of happiness IS NOT their idea of happiness?
It doesn't mean that what they want is what I want.
What if pursuing that scholarship for a musical degree in Japan will make me happy - instead of enrolling myself in medical school?
What if being actively involved in stage and theatrical acts makes me happy - instead of just sitting quietly at home?
What if being happy means being myself - instead of forcing myself to fit into social norms?
An old Malay proverb once said, "Syurga itu di bawah telapak kaki ibu" which is loosely translated as "Heaven is underneath your mother's feet". It means that we should obey our parents wishes and honor all their decisions - no matter what, else heaven/happiness is not yours to claim.
NOW - I am confused. Should I root for Germany or Malaysia? LOL.
Okay, jokes apart - I am really quite serious. I really want to be happy - who doesn't right? I really want to make my parents happy and proud! But what if my happiness goes the opposite way from my parents? Should I forfeit my happiness, live a lie, and comply to my parents wishes ? Or should I risk losing their favor by foregoing their wishes and indulge in my happiness, with a little bit of guilt?
Then comes into mind the principle "To choose the lesser evil". Okay, since both of my choices are not perfectly fairytale-ish, this seems to be a sound decision. Then again, choosing is one of my least favourite hobbies.
However as for now, I firmly believe in what I believe as happiness. I am adult enough to take resposibility of my actions, and I thank my parents with all my heart, for all the years for their love, patience, and sacrifice as they saw me grow up. I think it is time to let me fly away from the nest...and let me fend for myself.
There's an old cliche out there: Time heals. Parents mayb upset or disappointed if things dun go their way, but at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water, they will learn to accept it after some time.
ReplyDeleteI like ur quote 'Thinks that the world is getting more and more pretentious and scoring A's are too overrated nowadays'.
how i wish it was easier done than said :)
ReplyDeleteahhahah really! nowadays - life has become too pretentious. and we have become somehwat pretentious also without even knowing it.
i watched a movie once, this girl was exactly in your position, one day she decided to pursue her own happiness, she tells her parents, "Mom, dad, i love you so much, but if your gonna have to make me choose between me and you, i'd choose me!". After all, at the end of the day, we're going to be on our own eventually, our parents cant be there for us forever. Its time to buck up and make a solid decision. your parents will surely understand. Btw, in that movie, her parents listened to her and accepted her decision and they couldnt be more happier. I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS. hahas
ReplyDeleteyou will forever be their baby, but you gotta wake them up and tell them you can't be their baby forever and you want to be the person that u want to be. they may not accept you initially, but allow them to sleep on it for a while :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, just read your blog, well Max in my opnion when growing up, most of our decisions in life would be affected by what our parents think and so on. However there would be a stage when parents would eventually listen to what you have to say. That day may not be now or next year, but it would come. You are only stalling when ya think too much about what your parents opinion are. Instead start making tough decisions now that your confident would make you happy, altough you think might hurt your loved ones, but in the end when all the dust settles, they will be by your side, and they would be proud of ya.
ReplyDeleteThings are never easy. People always think they know what's best for you, especially your own blood. Hehe. All the best.
ReplyDelete[Anon] i hope my parents will be like that too, coz i want a happy ending. well, who doesnt?
ReplyDelete[manda] well i hope its just for a while. the sleeping part, i mean :)
[dev] =) thanx dev. really, its time to fly out of the nest now~
[will] thx :) yeah life has never been easy.